Part Three Chapter XI

XIKrystal did non take Robbie to nursery on Tuesday morning, just now dressed him for Nana Caths funeral instead. As she pulled up his least ripped trousers, which were a good two inches too short in the leg, she tried to explain to him who Nana Cath had been, provided she magnate as well have saved her breath. Robbie had no memory of Nana Cath he had no idea what Nana meant no concept of any relative other than mother and sister. In spite of her shifting hints and stories, Krystal knew that Terri had no idea who his father was.Krystal heard her mothers footsteps on the stairs.Leave it, she snapped at Robbie, who had reached for an empty beer can lying beneath Terris usual armchair. Cmere.She pulled Robbie by the hand into the hall. Terri was still wearing the pyjama bottoms and dirty T-shirt in which she had spent the night, and her feet were bare.Why intcha changed? demanded Krystal.I aint goin, verbalise Terri, pushing past her son and girlfriend into the kitchen. Changed me mind.Why?I don wanna, said Terri. She was lighting a cigarette off the ring of the cooker. Don fuckin ave to.Krystal was still holding Robbies hand, as he tugged and swung.Theyre all goin, said Krystal. Cheryl an Shane an all.So? said Terri aggressively.Krystal had been afraid that her mother would pull let emerge at the terminal minute. The funeral would bring her face to face with Danielle, the sister who pretended that Terri did not exist, not to cling up all the other relatives who had disowned them. Anne-Marie might be there. Krystal had been holding on to that hope, wish well a torch in the unrelentingness, through the nights she had sobbed for Nana Cath and Mr Fairbrother.You gotta go, said Krystal.No, I ain.Its Nana Cath, innit, said Krystal.So? said Terri, again.She done loads fer us, said Krystal.No, she ain, snapped Terri.She did, said Krystal, her face hot and her hand clutching Robbies.Fer you, maybe, said Terri. She done fuck-all for me. Go an fuckin bawl all o er er fuckin grave if yeh want. Im waitin in.Wha for? said Krystal.My busness, innit.The old familiar shadow fell.Obbos comin round, is e?My busness, repeated Terri, with pathetic dignity.Come to the funeral, said Krystal loudly.You go.Don go fuckin usin, said Krystal, her voice an octave higher.I ain, said Terri, but she turned away, looking out of the dirty back window over the patch of overgrown lightedter-strewn grass they called the back garden.Robbie tugged his hand out of Krystals and disappeared into the sitting room. With her fists deep in her trackie pockets, shoulders squared, Krystal tried to decide what to do. She wanted to cry at the thought of not going to the funeral, but her distress was edged with comforter that she would not have to face the battery of hostile eyes she had somewhattimes met at Nana Caths. She was angry with Terri, and yet felt strangely on her side. You dont even hit the hay who the father is, do yeh, yer whore? She wanted to meet Anne-Marie, but was scared.All righ, then, Ill stay an all.You don ave ter. Go, if yeh wan. I don fuckin care.But Krystal, certain that Obbo would appear, stayed. Obbo had been away for much than a week, for some nefarious purpose of his own. Krystal wished that he had died, that he would never come back.For something to do, she began to tidy the plate, while smoking one of the roll-ups Fats Wall had befuddlen her. She didnt like them, but she desire that he had given them to her. She had been keeping them in Nikkis plastic jewellery box, along with Tessas watch.She had thought that she might not see Fats any more, after their shag in the cemetery, because he had been almost silent afterwards and leftover her with barely a goodbye, but they had since met up on the rec. She could tell that he had enjoyed this time more than the last they had not been stoned, and he had lasted longer. He lay beside her in the grass beneath the bushes, smoking, and when she had told him about Nana Cath dying, he had told her that Sukhvinder Jawandas mother had given Nana Cath the wrong drugs or something he was not clear on the dot what had happened.Krystal had been horrified. So Nana Cath need not have died she might still have been in the neat little house on want Street, there in case Krystal needed her, offering a refuge with a comfortable clean-sheeted bed, the minute kitchen full of food and mismatched china, and the little TV in the corner of the sitting room I don wanna watch no filth, Krystal, turn that off.Krystal had liked Sukhvinder, but Sukhvinders mother had killed Nana Cath. You did not differentiate between members of an confrontation tribe. It had been Krystals avowed intention to pulverize Sukhvinder but then Tessa Wall had intervened. Krystal could not remember the details of what Tessa had told her but it seemed that Fats had got the story wrong or, at least, not exactly right. She had given Tessa a grudging promise not to go after Sukhvinder, but such promises c ould tho ever be stop-gaps in Krystals frantic ever-changing world.Put it down Krystal shouted at Robbie, because he was trying to prise the lid off the biscuit tin where Terri kept her works.Krystal snatched the tin from him and held it in her hands like a aliment creature, something that would fight to stay alive, whose destruction would have tremendous consequences. There was a scratched picture on the lid a drug dealer with luggage piled high on the roof, drawn through the snow by four chestnut horses, a coachman in a top hat carrying a bugle. She carried the tin upstairs with her, while Terri sat in the kitchen smoking, and hid it in her sleeping accommodation. Robbie trailed after her.Wanna go play park.She sometimes took him and pushed him on the swings and the roundabout.Not today, Robbie.He whined until she shouted at him to shut up.Later, when it was dark after Krystal had made Robbie his tea of spaghetti hoops and given him a bath when the funeral was long since over Obbo rapped on the front door. Krystal saw him from Robbies bedroom window and tried to get there first, but Terri beat her to it.All righ, Ter? he said, over the threshold before anyone had gaind him in. Eard you was lookin fer me las week.Although she had told him to stay put, Robbie had followed Krystal downstairs. She could smell his shampooed hair over the smell of fags and stale sweat that clung to Obbo in his ancient leather jacket. Obbo had had a few when he leered at her, she smelt the beer fumes.All righ, Obbo? said Terri, with the note in her voice Krystal never heard otherwise. It was conciliating, accommodating it conceded that he had rights in their house. Where you bin, then?Bristol, he said. Hows you, Ter?She don wan nuthin, said Krystal.He blinked at her through his thick glasses. Robbie was clutching Krystals leg so tightly that she could feel his nails in her skin.Oos this, Ter? asked Obbo. Yer mum?Terri laughed. Krystal glared at him, Robbies grip tight on her thigh. Obbos bleary gaze dropped to him.An ows me boy?He ain your fuckin boy, said Krystal.Ow dyou know? Obbo asked her quietly, grinning. hind end off. She don wan nuthin. announce im, Krystal virtually shouted at Terri. Tell im you don wan nuthin.Daunted, caught between two wills much stronger than her own, Terri said, E ony come rounda see No, e aint, said Krystal. No, e fuckin aint. Tell im. She don wan nuthin, she said fiercely into Obbos grinning face. Shes bin off it fer weeks.Is tha right, Terri? said Obbo, still smiling.Yeah, it is, said Krystal, when Terri did not answer. Shes still at Bellchapel.Noffur much longer, said Obbo. Fuck off, said Krystal, outraged.Closin it, said Obbo.Are they? said Terri in sudden panic. They aint, are they?Course they are, said Obbo. Cuts, innit?You dont know nuthin, Krystal told Obbo. Its bollocks, she told her mother. They aven said nuthin, ave they?Cuts, repeated Obbo, patting his bulging pockets for cigarettes.We got the case review, K rystal reminded Terri. Yeh cant use. Yeh cant.Whas that? asked Obbo, fiddling with his lighter, but neither woman enlightened him. Terri met her daughters gaze for a bare two seconds her eyes fell, reluctantly, to Robbie in his pyjamas, still clinging tightly to Krystals leg.Yeah, I wuz gonna go ter bed, Obbo, she mumbled, without looking at him. Ill mebbe see yer another time.I eard your Nan died, he said. Cheryl wuz tellin me.Pain contorted Terris face she looked as old as Nana Cath herself.Yeah, Im goin ter bed. Cmon, Robbie. Come wi me, Robbie.Robbie did not want to let go of Krystal while Obbo was still there. Terri held out her claw-like hand.Yeah, go on, Robbie, Krystal urged him. In certain moods, Terri clutched her son like a teddy bear better Robbie than smack. Go on. Go wi Mum.He was reassured by something in Krystals voice, and allowed Terri to take him upstairs.See yeh, said Krystal, without looking at Obbo, but stalking away from him into the kitchen, pulling the last of Fats Walls roll-ups out of her pocket and bending to light it off the gas ring. She heard the front door close and felt triumphant. Fuck him.You got a lovely arse, Krystal.She jumped so violently that a plate slipped off the heaped side and smashed on the filthy floor. He had not gone, but had followed her. He was staring at her chest in its tight T-shirt.Fuck off, she said.Big girl, intcha?Fuck off.I eard you give it away free, said Obbo, closing in. You could make better moneyn yer mum.Fuck His hand was on her left breast. She tried to knock it away he seized her wrist in his other hand. Her lit cigarette grazed his face and he punched her, twice, to the side of the head more plates shattered on the filthy floor and then, as they wrestled, she slipped and fell the back of her head smacked on the floor, and he was on top of her she could feel his hand at the waistband of her tracksuit bottoms, pulling.No fuck noHis knuckles in her belly as he undid his own flies she tried to scream and he smacked her crossways the face the smell of him was thick in her nostrils as he growled in her ear, Fuckin shout and Ill cut yer.He was inside her and it hurt she could hear him grunting and her own tiny whimper she was ashamed of the noise she made, so frightened and so small.He came and clambered off her. At once she pulled up her tracksuit bottoms and jumped up to face him, tears effusive down her face as he leered at her.Ill tell Mist Fairbrother, she heard herself sob. She did not know where it came from. It was a stupid thing to say.The fucks he? Obbo tugged up his flies, lit a cigarette, taking his time, blocking her exit. You fuckin im too, are yeh? Little slapper.He sauntered up the hall and was gone.She was shaking as she had never done in her life. She thought she might be sick she could smell him all over her. The back of her head throbbed there was a pain inside her, and wetness seeping into her pants. She ran out of the room into the living room and s tood, shivering, with her arms wrapped around herself then she knew a moment of terror, that he would come back, and hurried to the front door to lock it.Back in the sitting room she found a long stub in the ashtray and lit it. Smoking, shaking and sobbing, she sank into Terris usual chair, then jumped up because she heard footsteps on the stairs Terri had reappeared, looking confused and wary.Whassa matter with you?Krystal gagged on the words.He jus he jus fucked me.Wha? said Terri.Obbo e jus E wouldn.It was the instinctive denial with which Terri met all of life he wouldnt, no, I never, no, I didnt.Krystal flew at her and pushed her emaciated as she was, Terri crumpled backwards into the hall, shrieking and swearing Krystal ran to the door she had just locked, fumbled to unfasten it and wrenched it open.Still sobbing, she was twenty yards along the dark street before she realized that Obbo might be waiting out here, watching. She cut across a neighbours garden at a run and took a zig-zag route through back ways in the direction of Nikkis house, and all the time the wetness spread in her pants and she thought she might throw up.Krystal knew that it was rape, what he had done. It had happened to Leannes older sister in the car park of a nightclub in Bristol. Some people would have gone to the police, she knew that but you did not invite the police into your life when your mother was Terri Weedon.Ill tell Mist Fairbrother.Her sobs came faster and faster. She could have told Mr Fairbrother. He had known what real life was like. One of his brothers had done time. He had told Krystal stories of his youth. It had not been like her youth nobody was as low as her, she knew that but like Nikkis, like Leannes. Money had run out his mother had bought her council house and then been futile to keep up the payments they had lived for a while in a caravan lent by an uncle.Mr Fairbrother took care of things he sorted things out. He had come to their house and talked to Terri about Krystal and rowing, because there had been an argument and Terri was refusing to sign forms for Krystal to go away with the team. He had not been disgusted, or he had not shown it, which came to the same thing. Terri, who liked and trusted nobody, had said, E seems all righ, and she had signed.Mr Fairbrother had once said to her, Itll be tougher for you than these others, Krys it was tougher for me. But you can do better. You dont have to go the same way.He had meant working hard at take aim and stuff, but it was too late for that and, anyway, it was all bollocks. How would reading help her now?Ows me boy?He ain your fuckin boy.Ow dyou know?Leannes sister had had to get the morning-after yellow journalism. Krystal would ask Leanne about the pill and go and get it. She could not have Obbos baby. The thought of it made her retch.I gotta get out of here.She thought fleetingly of Kay, and then discarded her as bad as the police, to tell a social worker that Obbo walked in and out of their house, raping people. She would take Robbie for sure, if she knew that.A clear lucid voice in Krystals head was speaking to Mr Fairbrother, who was the only adult who had ever talked to her the way she needed, unlike Mrs Wall, so well-intentioned and so blinkered, and Nana Cath, refusing to hear the whole truth.I gotta get Robbie out of here. How can I get away? I gotta get away.Her one sure refuge, the little house in Hope Street, was already being gobbled up by squabbling relatives She scurried around a corner underneath a street lamp, looking over her shoulder in case he was watching her, following.And then the answer came to her, as though Mr Fairbrother had shown her the way.If she got knocked up by Fats Wall, she would be able to get her own place from the council. She would be able to take Robbie to live with her and the baby if Terri used again. And Obbo would never arrive her house, not ever. There would be bolts and chains and locks on the door, and her house would be clean, eternally clean, like Nana Caths house.Half running along the dark street, Krystals sobs slowed and subsided.The Walls would probably give her money. They were like that. She could imagine Tessas plain, concerned face, bending over a cot. Krystal would have their grandchild.She would lose Fats in getting pregnant they always went, once you were expecting she had watched it happen around e actually time in the Fields. But perhaps he would be enlivened he was so strange. It did not much matter to her either way. Her interest in him, except as the essential component in her plan, had dwindled to almost nothing. What she wanted was the baby the baby was more than a means to an end. She liked babies she had always loved Robbie. She would keep the two of them safe, together she would be like a better, kinder, younger Nana Cath to her family.Anne-Marie might come and visit, once she was away from Terri. Their children would be cousins. A very vivid image of herself and Anne-Marie came to Krystal they were standing at the school gates of St Thomass in Pagford, waving off two little girls in pale blue dresses and articulatio talocruralis socks.The lights were on in Nikkis house, as they always were. Krystal broke into a run.